i had traveled to lummi island to be in conversation with an album i was calling in called WAILS: Songs for Grief inspired by Whales and Francis Weller’s work (The Wild Edge of Sorrow, specifically the 5 gates of grief)… this was the first song that came through for the 3rd gate of grief (the sorrows of the world). it was during this same time that russia invades ukraine.

i brought CARRY THIS ALL to a community song circle within the first week of this travesty and i wasn’t convinced it was the right song for the 3rd gate. i then brought it once more to another song circle and people seemed to find the timing hard to track. so i laid her down and called in another song for the 3rd gate which is now (on the upcoming album) ONE BODY.

two years later i was in an accountability meeting with a team of dear ones that were holding me through the birthing of the WAILS gathering and the album coming to fruition. at the end of a pretty vulnerable and growing edge meeting a friend spoke up and said, “i believe i have the perfect song to close us out today.”

they sang:

YOU DO NOT CARRY THIS ALL ALONE
NO, YOU DO NOT CARRY THIS ALL ALONE
THIS IS WAY TOO BIG
FOR YOU TO CARRY THIS ON YOUR OWN
SO, YOU DO NOT CARRY THIS ALL ALONE

as i listened, tears streamed down my cheeks. i found myself wondering, “i’d like to ask who this song came through, cause i’d like to reach out to them and thank them for this song.” when my friend finished singing, i said: “who did that one come through?”

“you’re kidding right?” they responded.

“no.” i said in all honesty.

“that one came through you ahlay.”

i was flabbergasted. i thought i had sung that one with people before, but i had completely forgotten that CARRY THIS ALL had birthed through me. which makes me really feel, that SONGS DO COME THROUGH. many of us are willing vessels to bring through the melodies and their essence. it also made me realize that songs really do LIVE AS LONG AS THEY ARE SUNG. and i owe my deepest gratitude to my dear friend THENA for keeping this one alive.

when october 7th occurred, i brought this one into my touring and grief retreats and started closing out the gatherings with her.

i now have Michael Linder to thank for producing and mixing this one (and adding some nice vocal bass) and to Luka Rain for mastering.

may this song continue to be a hammock of rest for the weary.

thanks for sharing the songs.